Balance

     Balance is a very tricky thing for me right now. I feel like I’m at the cusp of figuring it out but I haven’t quite gotten there yet. August grabbed me by the collar and has been dragging me through these months without too many breaths. Starting a bachelor’s program and a brand new job at the same time has proven to be challenging, along with all the other busyness that comes with Autumn. I’ve slowed down with my photography, which is okay with me. In fact I’m taking a little hiatus after I finish up these couple sessions I already shot. For my own mental health I need to.
     I also decided to cut my hours at work by 1 less shift a week. Working evenings can be difficult in terms of your social life. I feel like if I was always scheduled day shifts I wouldn't have such a hard time working so many hours because I would see Tanner in the evenings and operate on the same schedule that so much of the world operates on. Working 3-11:30pm takes up a lot of your day. When I get home around midnight I’m usually pretty wired from my shift and it takes about 2 hours for me to fall asleep. So then I sleep in until 9 or 10am the next day. I then have a few hours to myself which I usually use to get schoolwork done until I have to get ready for work again, and the cycle repeats. I’m often scheduled 4 days in a row (I know you Monday-Friday people are scoffing now), and on those days I rarely see anyone. Tanner’s at work when I wake up and sleeping when I get home. It’s tiring.
     The trade off is that this is the job I want. I love my job. Some nights are really hard. Some nights I’m totally drained. But I knew what I was getting into. There are times that it’s so hard for me not to complain about working weekends and holidays; I just wish for a normal schedule. I then remember that there are things that I can do that a lot of people 8am-noon. I can spend a beautiful morning outside (studying usually) and soak up the sunshine that many people don’t get to feel. I can go to yoga during the week before work. I have these options, but often I’m too tired or feel guilty for not working on school stuff to do them.
     I know it will come with time, figuring out how to juggle all the aspects. I find myself looking forward to quiet and chilly winter months. This sounds terrible but I won’t feel as guilty for not going outside when it’s -10 degrees. I love being outside but sometimes it’s not a priority in my every day life. I’m reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey right now. It’s a fantastic book full of good advice about handling your life and how you perceive everything and how to successfully prioritize things.
    For those of you that have read it, I feel like every day I’m putting out fires and accomplishing things that need to be accomplished every day that are urgent and in ways are important, but I’m often neglecting the things that are not-urgent and very important- such as going outside, or going to yoga. I’m too busy dealing with Quadrant I that I don’t get to focus on Quadrant II nearly enough. I feel like once I catch up I can start better prioritizing my time and focus on those activities that are important and non-urgent, but when will I catch up? Every week is full of work, new assignments for school, family and social events, housework, photography responsibilities and then the hopeful prospect of “me” time that doesn't really seem to ever occur.
      I know things will slow down, but in the mean time I’m just trying to figure it all out. All of you evening/weekender/holiday workers- how do you deal with it? Any advice?

Presently..

     Life right now is busy. It's drinking way more coffee everyday than I have drank in a few years. It's the struggle of working the evening shift and having my sleep schedule totally backwards. It's the ever-present opportunity of learning with every interaction at my job. It's the internal smile I feel as I walk out of the hospital at the end of the night and the gratitude I have to have the opportunity to even be there with all the good and the bad. It's the homemade breakfasts that I make myself every morning and the pumpkin pie spice that I add to my coffee every day. It's the new friends we meet and keeping up with our old and our dear. It's the kitty cuddles. It's the nights off when I get to make a meal with Tanner and watch Netflix and pretend I have no responsibilities for a while. It's the three classes I'm now taking for my bachelor's degree and the never ending reading list. It's curling up in my bed at the end of every day with my kindle and reading in the silence of the wee hours of the morning/night. It's happiness, craziness, stress, gratitude and heart feelings that are so full.


Reading: (aside from my school texts)

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People- Stephen R. Covey 
• ^Highly recommend this book to everyone. There's some really fantastic advice about    life and perception. This was assigned on a reading list for school and I'm quite glad about it.
• The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down- Anne Fadiman
• I'm not terribly far into this book but so far it's really good. A true story about a Hmong family and their interactions with the American health care system in taking care of their child with a very serious epilepsy case. Another that was on my reading list for school.
• Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems
• I found this one for my Kindle for $0.99. I love me some classic literature and sometimes I just need a break from my nursing reading. I've read a few of the short stories which are a perfect non-commitment read for the nights that I simply want to be entertained and not expected to retain anything. 

Watching:

• Just finished Mad Men Season 7 (the first half) and I'm so sad we have to wait until next year    to see the finale! If you haven't ever watched Mad Men, please do. Google it. It's great. 

• Also just finished Game of Thrones Season 4. I read the books over the last 6 months and I'm also quite sad that I have to wait until next year for the next season/wait for who knows how long for the next book to come out... George R.R. Martin loves to break hearts.

• Now watching Portlandia Season 3, which gives us many a great laugh. Fred Armisen is a genuis and there are way too many scenarios that are oddly familiar to Tanner and I... in other words we know we're hipsters.

Hope you are all good and happy! 

August Ramblings

    As this summer comes to an end, there are a lot of things on my summer wishlist that have yet to be done. And I complain about that. About the lack of personal time and the running from one thing to the next. That's how every summer has ever been and how every summer will be. I remind myself that there have been some really wonderful and beautiful moments in these last few months that I cannot take for granted. I also remind myself that summer isn't over and even when it is, autumn will be there to welcome us with open and cozy arms.

Things left undone on my list:

• Camping trip with Tanner
• A day at Lake Calhoun
• Ride my bike (thanks to my husband for breaking my bike this spring..)

There are indeed other things that I had wanted to do, but typing out my undone list makes me realize that I actually have done quite a bit of good things as well. It's funny how easy it is to complain that we want more. More time. More things. More memories. In reality I have it pretty good. Life is a balancing act and I feel that I'm finally gaining that balance as this season comes to an end. Beginning next week my balance will be off yet again as school will be thrown into the game. I'll be working on my Bachelor's of Nursing through a part-time online program. I didn't necessarily want to go back to school but due to societal pressure and the hopes of new opportunities I am continuing my education. Secretly, a little part of me is excited for school. A large part of me is not looking forward to papers and projects and the like, but I really love learning. 

Things done this summer:

• Celebrated my Great-Grandmother's 99th birthday
• Was a part of one of my best friend's proposal/engagement
• Planted a garden
• Harvested scarce but alive produce from said garden
• Solitary walks around the St. Paul U of M campus gardens
• Non-solitary walks around the St. Paul U of M campus gardens
• Cabin day with our bests
• Como zoo with my mom and sisters and niece
• Painted our bedroom
• Celebrated my niece's first birthday
• Celebrated our two year wedding anniversary
• Grilled with my parents and grandparents
• Sat on many a porch with delicious food/drink 
• Settler's (of Catan) nights on our own porch
• Breakfast and lazy mornings with Tanner 
• Got a new cat, Eli
• Played foot golf (The game of golf but with a soccer ball)
• Attended many family dinners and get-togethers between our families
• Lunch date down-town Minneapolis with my mother in law
• Went on our annual cousin camping trip
• Started a new job on a cardiovascular floor at a hospital
• Attended a bachelorette party at a cabin
• Loudly sang along to the Beach Boys, Lana Del Rey and First Aid Kit with my husband
• Shopped a few farmer's markets
• Laid in the grass with sun on my face
• Swayed in a hammock on my sister's farm
• Swam in a few lakes
• Shot photos in a field of flowers at sunset
• Ran through warm summer rain

San Francisco

     When we left Yosemite, we actually stopped in Tracy to visit relatives on my mom's side of the family. We stayed with my great aunt and uncle who I love to visit with. We got to see both of their kids (my second cousins) and their children as well. I wish that we lived closer to them. They're so much fun to be around and the little kids provide endless entertainment. We went out for dinner and then played with the little kids in the backyard as the sun was going down. California is funny how hot it can get during the day and how quickly it cools off in the evening. If we had a little more time I would have loved to spend a few days with my family there but I appreciate the time we did have.

    So after Tracy we left for San Francisco, our last stop of our trip. One of my good friends from high school, Will, lives there. He became our unofficial tour guide for the next couple of days. I like to call this portion of our trip "Trespassing with Will'. He showed us all the awesome "untouristy" (that's a word right?) places. We also met up with another friend, Sophie, whom we had dinner with! 

     Will took us to see the Sutro Baths ruins, which was at one point in the late 1800's a large swimming pool area. The sea soon took it over and now the ruins remain which are creepily cool to explore.

      Next up he took us to Land's End. It's this park up on the bluffs where if you trespass in just the right area you end up on a cliff overlooking the Golden Gate bridge. The view was absolutely serene. If I lived in San Francisco I would spend an awful lot of time sitting up there in the sun. San Francisco has a really nice climate. It can get a little hot in the middle of the city but if you're by the sea it's absolutely perfect and beautiful. There usually is a nice breeze coming off of the water but the sun is still shining its warmth upon you.

My dear friend Will.

     We hit Twin Peaks afterwards. Side note- we're 99% the vice president of the US drove right by us, evidenced by an entourage of police and secret service vehicles. Twin Peaks gives you a spectacular view of the city from above. That evening we joined Will and his friends at a biker bar where we sat on the patio and met fellow humans who are excited about life. We retired somewhat early as we had been all trip back to our room to rest for the next (and our last full day) in San Francisco.

     Tanner and I awoke the next day and began our day with walking through China town and down to Pier 39, which was about a 5 mile round trip not to mention the additional walking we did around the Pier. We got our exercise in this trip let me assure you. I loved walking through China town and seeing the community and culture. It's a lot different than New York's China town where I feel the general ambiance is to get tourists to buy things they don't really need (like turtles... that's a whole other story from my 16 year old traveling self). Here there were a bunch of markets with fresh food and other services that people use on a daily basis.

     Pier 39 was pretty cool. I went there when I was a lot younger with my family, but coming back with Tanner was really nice. Favorite part of course is watching the sea lions. We stood there for probably at least 15 minutes just watching them. I could watch them all day. We ate fish and chips, and of course we had to get some ice cream. We walked around for the better part of the afternoon before heading back to our hotel to freshen up a bit before dinner. 

     Tanner has always been hesitant about trying sushi, and our plans were to have sushi with our friend Sophie. We ended up walking to dinner from our hotel. Lo and behold, Tanner didn't die from the sushi. He actually enjoyed it, but as evidenced by the photo below he didn't want anyone to know. After dinner we met up with Will, his girlfriend and her roommate and hung out at their place for the rest of the evening. Sometimes with such a busy trip it's really nice to have some nights where you just chill and don't worry about hitting every tourist destination. It was also really fun to reconnect with Will, whom I haven't seen for a few years now. We used to be really close in high school, always in orchestra together since about 7th grade I believe. 

   The next day our flight left at 3pm and we had to return our rental car around noon. So we spent much of our day at the airport/on an airplane. California is gorgeous and I understand why everyone wants to live there. I love having family in the area we can visit and I'm hoping that we can go back after not too long. This concludes my posts about our trip! It only took me 2 months... I've already got the travel bug itch again (not sure if that ever goes away) and have some ideas up my sleeve for this winter. It's a blessing to be able to travel and also something I realize that I put in high priority as far as money management goes. To see the world is a great gift and I'm going to take advantage of that.