Recent Occurences

     Quickly I am realizing that it is time consuming to keep up a blog. Life has been a happy, busy blur for me this summer. To believe that it is already August is difficult. Time goes by so much faster than I would ever imagine it could. I feel like this summer I am finally free and really living! I am saying so many more yes's to plans and events than I have had a chance to with school going on. I have realized that you need to make every day count. Every weekend and every summer. Sometimes that means staying in, and that's okay! I can fully appreciate a night of cuddling and relaxing with my husband.
     I am a part of two weddings in our family this August. This last Saturday was one of my second cousins who got married at a bible camp that we have all gone to for years. It was such a beautiful and peaceful wedding. My feet were dirty and aching by the end of the day/night but I felt so good by the time we finally got "home" (my great grandma's house). That night after the reception we were all a little hungry. So we combined food, all of us that were staying with my Great Grandma, and had a late night feast. Not many people can say they stayed up till after 11 pm on a Saturday night making mac and cheese and eating ice cream with their dear 98 year old great grandma. It was one of those times in my life that I can't really describe but I made many mental notes throughout the event and I know I won't forget that anytime soon.
     This next weekend my first cousin is getting married. A small, beautiful little wedding will take place by the Mississippi river with celebrations to continue in the house where I grew up. For her wedding I will be a hairdresser, makeup artist and photographer. Not once have I officially been all three for a wedding. I am excited though, we did a test run and it was quite fun to prettify people! That morning I also signed up to donate blood in memory of a dear friend that I lost a few years ago. They do an annual blood drive and I haven't done it once yet. I'm a little nervous because when I last donated blood in high school I remember feeling very weak and lightheaded after. But I want to do this for her and for all of those people who have it so much worse than just feeling lightheaded for 15 minutes.
     Work has begun and in a couple weeks I will be working full time. I have a million pictures to edit right now which I go between feeling stressed and excited to work on them. I'm trying to do as much as possible to enjoy the rest of the summer but secretly I'm very excited for autumn!

To be a Gypsy

     Laying in my bed this morning reading about other people's adventures gave me a strange pang in my stomach. I spend much of my time reading about other's adventures (whether they be fictional or not) and most of the time I really enjoy spending my time doing so. But every once in a while I get that feeling. Why not me? Why was I set out for a "normal person" life? Why am I not across the seas shooting amazing photography and staying with random people and experiencing all these things that most people don't get to experience? Why am I not a super talented musician with the networking and financial means needed to be world renown? But to have a life like that takes a lot of sacrifice. Because if I had a life like that, I wouldn't have the love in my heart that I do now. Sometimes being a "normal person" isn't the worst thing in the world. Someone's got to do it. In this normal person life I have laughed a thousand times till I cried with my sisters and my family and a few close friends. I know what it is to be in a deep, selfless love that overrules anything and that I would truly give up everything for. Growing up with and learning so many lessons along side this once teenage boy who is now my husband. I know true pain and loss and hurt. I have experienced the little things, attending wedding showers and baby showers and feeling the excitement for others for their journeys through this life. Feeling everything that comes with the young stages of public elementary school, the embarrassment of middle school and the pressure of high school. What it means to really work for something. I feel like so much of my generation thinks that the worst thing in the world is to go to school, get married, buy a house, have a kid and then grow old and die. Just because its normal does not mean that its plain and untouched by excitement, love and adventure. I so often see idealizations of success that are almost imaginative. After having the love that I do now, I would not trade anything in life for this person that I have given my heart to and have accepted his heart in return. It may not be the most glamorous life. It involves a lot of just being together and not necessarily doing anything else productive. A lot of people also assume that their jobs are simply pointless and unnecessary. For the most part, unless you're still working at like a block buster movie store which would be crazy because I haven't seen one around for years, your job is probably important. Even if you work at a coffee shop. Think about how many people's days you've brightened. How many different people you get to see and meet every day. Most jobs in the world are necessary (note, not ALL, but most), and someone's got to do them. And often times that's the "normal" people of this world. You and me. But the thing that many don't understand is that you can live a normal life, and still have experiences. Still be unique. Still be happy. A crazy, adventurous, gypsy-like life is not always attainable or necessary for your time here on earth to be a pleasurable one. It may seem like you have such an insignificant life in the spectrum of this world, but in the spectrum of the universe, we are all tiny specks.

Thoughts on Being a Nurse, Time, Life and Death

     I just finished my last shift at the assisted living I was working at. It's bittersweet. I've worked for 4 years now towards being a nurse, and now that I finally am one (soon to be licensed that is) I feel excited and terrified that I am actually going to be a real nurse. The assisted living I worked at was so great as far as my schedule, or lack there of one, went while I was in school. I worked with a lot of cool people, but really I think it is the residents that I'll miss the most. Working with elderly people truly gives you such a new appreciation for life. Every time I work, I'm reminded that I'm young, my body works so efficiently although I so often complain of minor things, that I have so much left to experience in life and that it goes by so, so quickly. I love to see old photos in their apartments and when I ask them about the pictures, their faces just light up.

      I have seen beauty in so many ways working with these people. I truly believe that it has made me even gentler and a more patient person (which a nurse always should be). I have seen love shown in so many ways as well. Almost all of the residents there are warm hearted and truly happy people. They realize that there is no point in being bitter. And the ones that are bitter have such sad, pinched faces. You can feel the lack of warmth in the room. And it's not as though there was never love in their hearts. Many of them are just terribly broken and ready to be done with this physical life. The residents watch out for each other. And they care about each other. 

     I can't help but think of when I am old and frail, it comforts me to think that every one else will be too. I will have lived a full and loving life because I know even now at 22, that every day is a blessing and every breath is a gift. I am so often humbled when I am at work. I never thought that I would want to do hospice care as a nurse, but I actually now think that I would really enjoy it. It's something very special to be some one's caretaker and know that every single thing you do for them is significant. Everything you do makes a difference in their life. And to take care of some one at the end of their life is a privilege. 

     That is one of the things that most pleases me about the healthcare profession, that every single work day, you are directly making a difference in someone's life. To leave this world a better place than it was when I got here is really what I want in life. I want to make other's lives better. Happier. Fuller. I honestly feel privileged to be able to call my self a nurse. And to think that I didn't even consider being a nurse for the longest time! It actually kind of randomly hit me (while I was in Sweden I believe), so I just went with it and found out that I really like nursing and am good at it too! Funny how these things work huh.... :) Anyways, I'm feeling very thankful and humbled at this moment. One of my favorite things that one of my residents said to me was "Nurses are the angels of the world." I have already had amazing experiences and I can only imagine what the future holds for me.